Prejudice against Charedim in the Workplace

There seems to be a lot of prejudice in Israel. At least in job market. Arabs, Ethiopians, and Charedim seem to be shunned by employers. Prejudice of any kind is abhorrent to me. Hating people based on faulty generalizations is morally reprehensible. This applies to all the above mentioned groups. But what concerns me the most is the fact that Charedim are in this group.

Not that the other two categories are any more justifiable. They are not. But because Charedim are my people – religious Jews who make great sacrifices to remain religious and have contributed much to the spiritual state of the country. And it seems they are being socially punished for it in the job market.

From an article in Ha’artez:

Some 58 percent of managers prefer not to hire Haredic academics, and 53 percent of them would rather not hire Ethiopians, the report said…

...their chances of receiving a promotion are slim, despite qualifications and success rates. Some 86 percent of the research participants said that they would rather not promote Haredic employees…

One can perhaps explain if not justify the prejudice against Arabs. To a lesser extent one can explain the prejudice against Ethiopians – skin color has always been a factor in prejudice. That is an even greater injustice.

But why Charedim? I recall reading a story about a secular employer who preferred Charedi employees because of their reputation for honesty and integrity. For not ever cheating their employers out of anything. Rarely coming late or leaving early from work. Being the most dedicated to their jobs….

How does this anecdote square with these statistics?

Another question that begs an answer is why are Datim not discriminated against? No where in the article does it make that claim at all. The article did not mention Datim. I would conclude that Datim are treated more or less the same as secular Jews in the workplace - hired and promoted in the same percentages.

The fact that Datim are not discriminated against suggest that the prejudice is not based on hatred of Torah – or more precisely those who are observant of Torah. There is something else at play here. What that might be is food for thought. However the fact that there may be explanations does not make it any less immoral. Prejudice is immoral by very definition. It means prejudging someone unfavorably without knowing anything about him.

Now I am not blaming the victim here. Not any more than I would blame a scantily clad woman for being raped.

But I would humbly suggest that a little self examination by the Charedi world might help explain the situation. Not justify it. Just explain it. What is it about Charedim that makes employers so reluctant to hire them? …and if they do hire them - reluctant to promote them? Is it their vilification in the media? Is it vilification by leftist type government officials? Can it even be an occasional vilification by Dati Jews? I think there is some merit to those explanations. But in my view a lot of the prejudice is self generated.

It begins in Meah Shearim and extends to places like Bnei Brak, Ramat Bet Shemesh, and Beitar. The image one conjures up when one says ‘Charedim’ is not of thousands of students sitting an learning diligently. It is not of the numerous charities that they are responsible for… charities that do not discriminate between Charedim and Dati; religious and non religious. It is not Zaka or Hatzalah. The image a Charedi conjures up these days is like the fellow in the picture. One picture like this and it obliterates all the good that community does.

And then there are the religious legislators whose image is one of shoving religion down everyone’s throat. Or extorting money from the government for their causes - much of them having to do with supporting those who learn Torah, do not serve in the army, or work productively. Perhaps this is what is on the mind of the Israeli employer who refuses to hire Charedim.

I realize of course that an educated Charedi who is professionally trained on par with his secular counterparts whether in universities business schools or professional schools - is as far being part of those images as is fire from water.

Most Charedim abhor what the residents of Meah Shearim do. Nor do they have anything to do with religious legislation in the Kenesset . And though that makes all the difference in the wolrd - once Charedism becomes identified with violence and political extortion - then all Charedim are tainted by it. That is prejudice. Unfair? Absolutely! But understandable and unavoidable in a world where prejudice drives action and reaction.

The best way to get things changed is to change the realities. Public attention to the bad can only be reversed if the bad stops happening. Once that happens – maybe the good will start being noticed more. Charedim have a lot to be admired for. And their work ethic and integrity is very high as the above anecdote shows. And it will show more if things change. Once you admire a community for its achievements, it will be easy hiring people from it.

Rabbi Yosef and the Women of the Wall

One of today’s true Gedolim is Rav Ovadia Yosef - former Sephardi Chief Rabbi of Israel and author of many volumes of Halacha. His encyclopedic knowledge is undeniable. In fact I would venture to guess that he is perhaps the most knowledgeable Gadol alive in the world right now. If he were Ashkenazi rather than Sephardi I believe he would be the virtually indisputable Gadol HaDor.

That said - I recall having heard him make some comments on various issues in the past that troubled me and that I strongly disagreed with. But what he said in the current issue of Ynet - is not one of them. Although I do think he was unfair in his characterizations - with which I do not agree.

Here is an excerpt:

Rabbi Ovadia Yosef came out on Saturday night against the feminist lineup at the Western Wall and called for the condemnation of its members. According to him, the movement is made up of "stupid" women who do not act "for Heaven's sake," but merely because "they want equality."

I agree that what these women do - is at least in part motivated by feminist goals of equality. But I don’t think they are stupid nor do I believe that they are devoid of the L’Shma aspect. Nor do I think they should be condemned. In fact I believe that they are sincere. I wrote about this last March and one can see my exact views there. I haven’t changed my mind.

Unlike Rabbi Yosef, I do not think many of these women are doing it solely for feminist reasons. However - I do believe that if not for feminist influences these kinds of things would not exist at all, and I doubt that a single woman would be the worse off for it spiritually.

Bottom line is that those who would join the ‘Woman of the Wall’ must look in their hearts and ask themselves if their motives for doing the kinds of things done there is really entirely for the sake of heaven.

I realize of course that Orthodox feminists will jump all over that statement (as they have in the past) and ask, ‘Why do women need a test for their motives - and not men?’

This is a debate I have been having with the more strident Orthodox feminists who insist that the issue is about men denying women their rights to serve God in ways they see fit… In ways that most inspire them to holiness. This would apply to all such things that are technically Mutar but way out of the mainstream. Examples are ‘Women of the Wall’, ‘Women’s Teffilah Groups’, and women who seek to become rabbis.

I will answer as I always have. It is not about women. It is about altering tradition – even if it is technically within Halacha. It doesn’t matter to me if it is a man or a woman.

If one wants to do something odd and out of the mainstream one has to look at possible external influences and ask if they were a factor. It is for that reason that I am opposed to Carlebach Minyanim. Not that they are against Halacha. I love Shlomo Carlebach’s music. He was an incomparable musical genius. But I question what these Minyanim are really all about. Are they worshipping God or Shlomo Carlebach?

Same thing Meshichist Minyanim. Are they worshipping God or a dead Rebbe? There is no question in my mind that Lubavitcher Rebbe was a Gadol. But he was not a god and not to be worshipped in death - almost as though he were.

I ask the same kind of question here. Is it only because you believe this is the best way you can serve God that you wish to worship as the ‘Women of the Wall’ do? Or is there something else also at play? My motives are not anti feminist. I AM a feminist. But I am also not unaware of the negative side of feminism - and when it intersects with religious practices - I ask questions.

Depression and Suicide

Once again the subject of mental illness comes up.

This time it hits us squarely in the pit of our collective stomachs as we read of a Chasan married just 48 hours earlier jumps to his death. Of course no one actually saw him jump. But the circumstantial evidence is overwhelming that it was a suicide. Or murder. I shudder to think if it was the latter and I highly doubt it was. The story in the New York Post reports that the Kallah was asleep, awoken by hotel staff and informed of what happened.

My brain will not allow me to even recognize the kind of pain this family must be suffering. I have a mental block to it. My heart nonetheless goes out to them. This young man’s death must not be in vain.

As the New York Post reports it - this is a story of a very happy young man who was the picture of joy at his wedding. And yet he committed suicide. Who really knows what went on inside his brain as he leaped to his death from the 7th floor of a hotel in Boro Park where he and his bride were staying.

But this kind of scenario - where a depressed personality seems fine to everyone around them - is unfortunately all too typical of the illness of depression. Suicide is one of the greatest dangers of the clinically depressed. And this is not the first instance of suicide in the religious community. People often just don’t know that an individual - even a close friend can be clinically depressed. This insidious illness is often never apparent to people who come in contact with them in their daily lives. They hide it. And they hide it well.

But the depression is there. And it’s real. Usually it is only the very closest to them that are anywhere near being aware of it. But those that are - indeed are acutely aware of it. In fact when an individual suffers from clinical depression – it is almost always the case that their ‘significant other’ suffers too. Not from depression. But from coping with a loved one who is depressed.

If this young man suffered from depression his wife probably was not aware of it. I’m sure he hid it from her during their probably very brief courtship. And I’m equally sure that at some level he was hoping to have a great future with his new wife. That marriage would change his depressed state. But if he was clinically depressed - what probably happened is that he felt as depressed as ever 48 hours afterwards and thought that there was no hope.

If I had to guess, I would say that he probably erroneously concluded that if getting married didn’t change his depression - nothing could. He would be miserable the rest of his life with each passing day getting worse - deeper and deeper into the abyss with no way out. This is a typical thought pattern of clinically depressed people. That makes them even more depressed.

Now I don’t know the actual circumstances here, but the picture I painted is unfortunately not all that uncommon. As any competent psychiatrist will tell you. There are treatment options for people like this that they are not aware of. That may have been the case here. Too often the feeling among religious Jews is that going to professionals will ‘hurt the Shiddach’. Parents might feel that this ‘Narishkeit’ is all psychological and that getting married would ‘shake him out of it’.

That is obviously not what happened here. It isn’t always just a psychological problem. In fact most of the time it is a bio-chemical problem. The chemistry in the brain is defective and that causes depression. It is a physiological disorder – not a psychological disorder. It takes medication to treat it, just like many other physiological disorders. There have been tremendous advances made in this field in recent years. Many different medications or combination of medications are available that clinically depressed people can take and lead completely normal lives – free of depression.

Unfortunately this is still not well known or at least not so well accepted by the general public and in particular the religious Jewish public. There is still strong resistance to medications. They are seen as crutches. There are still some mental health professionals that believe in psychotherapy only. Stay away from these quacks.

I’m not saying therapy is never warranted. Sometimes it is. But most of the time it is medication that works best. Therapy should be used in conjunction with that. It is rare that depression can be ‘cured’ without the properly prescribed medications. And that should be done by psychiatrists who are experienced with them and have a good track record.

I am not the only one to say this, but it is no less true. If you think you suffer from any form of clinical depression, get help. It is available and you do not have to live your life that way. If you are afraid of the stigma attached to seeing a psychiatrist – think about what happened here. Don’t think it can’t happen to you or your child. It can.

One final note. Halachicly I don’t think there should is a problem declaring this death a natural one and not a suicide. There is no ‘proof’ that it was a suicide. That should offer some comfort to the bereaved. But if it is the case that thier son suffered from depression - and they ignored it... it will not diminish the pain of knowing something was terribly wrong and hiding it from the world, from the Kallah, her family, and most importantly - from themselves.

Updated: 7:35 PM CST

Is There Really a Reason to Be so Divisive?

One of the things that bother me about the divide between Charedim and Modern Orthodox Jews is the attitude that Charedim have about their own views versus those of others.

It is more than just a disagreement between right and left; stringencies versus leniencies. It is an attitude of complete and total rejection of others and their views. It's an attitude bolstered by an arrogance that is almost impervious to reasonable debate or discussion.

This came into focus recently during a discussion on an e-mail list about a lenient Halachic Psak about singing in a mixed choir (men and women). There is apparently a Posek in Israel who permits it.

I am not here to endorse or reject the Psak. But I am here to object to such a Psak being characterized as outside the pale of Orthodoxy. If a knowledge Rav writes a Teshuva and brings sources he is not to be looked at as outside the pale. He is entitled to his view.

But non Orthodox is how one individual on that list characterizes it. And that is plain wrong. It is divisive and contrary to Halacha to disparage a Daas Yachid.

Unfortunately the right wing has become very Taliban-like in their attitude about what is Halacha and what isn't. If they rule something is forbidden, then anyone who says it is permitted is not Orthodox - especially if they are Modern Orthodox rabbis.

The best example of that is belief in an ancient universe. The right wing considers such views heresy. This is how it was characterized in the Yated when explaining why they banned Rabbi Slifkin’s books. Another example of that is calling rabbis Misyavnim - people influenced by Hellenistic philosophies. If a rabbi advocates banning Metzitza BePeh (the 'drawing of blood' from a Bris Mila by mouth) but instead advocates using more sterile means for Pikuach Nefesh reasons - there is no room for debate. No room for Elu V’Elu. Anyone expressing such an opinion is outside the pale.

These two examples are opinions expressed by the most right wing of Charedim.

But it seems to be the case that those who side with them the most on this issue are Charedim who have themselves stepped out of the strict party line. It seems that they feel even stronger about expressing their views in this way then mainstream Charedim.

I find this often to be the case with those from Charedi backgrounds who say that they tend toward a more Torah Im Derech Eretz for themselves. They were educated in a completely Charedi style Yeshiva system from kindergarten on up. And yet many of these Charedim become professionals. But they do so apologetically and then feel the need to ram it down everyone’s throat just how Charedi their Hashkafos still are.

I see this as overcompensation for their perceived failure at not being true to their own Charedi principles. Principles like staying in learning as long as they can. Instead they might have feelings of inferiority - and that they have sold out by going to college and taking careers in the professions.

They then have to prove just how Charedi they really are by taking the most strident position on any issue.

This is my observation. Is any of it true? I don’t know - but it sure seems that way to me.

When Yoel Met Yael

I wish them nothing but happiness. The beautiful Ivanka (Yael) Trump married handsome Jared (Yoel Chaim) Kushner last week in what was probably one of the most talked about events of the year. This ‘merger’ between two of the wealthiest families in the world is enough to make headlines around the world. The celebrity surrounding Ivanka’s father Donald Trump surely added to this. Ivanka has herself been featured on his successful television show ‘The Apprentice’. So she is not a stranger to celebrity either.

What makes this event significant to Orthodox Jewry is the fact that Jared Kushner was raised a Modern Orthodox Jew. Ivanka Trump was not Jewish. She has recently converted to Judaism. It was an Orthodox conversion. In subsequent public appearances I noticed that although she does dress modestly in accordance with Halacha she does not cover her hair. That of course is very common in Modern Orthodox circles.

The question arises about whether a woman who will not cover her hair should be allowed to convert. I assume that Ivanka Kushner has accepted the requirement of Mitzvah observance. The vast majority of Poskim hold that this is a necessary component of conversion. I’m sure she is therefore now a Sabbath observer, keeps Kosher, and observes family purity laws. But I doubt she ever accepted the requirement to cover her hair. According to most Poskim, however a married woman is required by Halacha to cover her hair.

Rav Moshe Feinstein held that if one upon conversion says they accept the requirement of Mitzvah observance- and then immediately after the ritual ignores Halacha – by for example eating a cheeseburger – there is no greater proof that one never really accepted the Mitzvos. The whole thing was one big sham from beginning to end. The person is not Jewish.

That said even Rav Moshe would agree that if the acceptance was truly sincere, then if one completely rejects the Mitzvos immediately after the conversion the conversion is legitimate. Not observing any of them makes them a Mumar Yisroel – a sinful Jew. It’s just that in the above example he says there was never any real doubt that Mitzvah observance was going to be ignored. Therefore there was never any real acceptance. ‘Saying ‘I accept’ and not really meaning it is – well – meaningless.

The Gemarah is also very clear about how much a convert must really know about Judaism before converting. The answer is - not that much really. They must commit to keeping all of the Mitzvos – are taught some basics and convert immediately. They are also told to keep learning and keep the Mitzvos as they learn them.

The question is how far do we go with the requirement to observe Mitzvos? Is not covering hair a deal breaker? What if the rabbi who performed the conversion told a convert that this was a Halacha and a female convert accepted it. Then she sees many Modern Orthodox women who do not cover their hair and decides that she doesn’t want to really cover it either. Does this invalidate the conversion?

I was told not too long ago of one situation like this where a convert was ‘caught’ with her hair uncovered in a remote area and her conversion was nullified by the converting rabbi. Was this correct? The rabbi contended that this was a clear violation of ‘the agreement’ to observe Mitzvos and he therefore revoked her conversion.

If a convert is converted by a very Charedi Rav who insists on Charedi Hashkafos and Charedi Psak - must his convert take upon himself the Charedi position? Or may he – after becoming more sophisticated about differences between Poskim rely on - even far reaching Kulos? May converts change their lifestyles from a Charedi one to a Modern Orthodox one?

As I have said many times here, I am not a Posek. But it would seem to me that the meaning of requiring Mitzvah observance should only mean at the most minimum level. As long as there is this commitment - the conversion is valid. I don’t mean to say they should accept more stringent views if they wish. Of course they can. But it should not be a deal breaker if they are lenient to the maximum extent Halacha allows.

Most areas of Halacha of course overlap among all observant Jews - from the most extreme left wing to the most extreme right wing. But in areas of difference of which there are many a convert should have the right to choose whichever Psak Halacha they are the most comfortable with – as long as it legitimate. If they converted Charedi and decide later to be Modern Orthodox – that should in no way invalidate the conversion.

So this Rav who supposedly revoked a conversion like this was wrong. He had absolutely no right to nullify it just because he caught his convert with her hair uncovered - if indeed there is even one obscure but legitimate Posek who permits it.

And certainly Ivanka Trump who was probably never required to cover her hair as part of the conversion process is Jewish. Her conversion was Orthodox and legitimate. Rabbi Haskell Lookstein was the Mesader Kedushin – the officiating rabbi. He is a man of high integrity and he would never have officiated if the conversion was invalid.

On a separate note I read an article last weekend that asked the question ‘Is Ivanka Trump Good for the Jews? I don’t really think that is a fair question to ask. We are required by Halacha to accept converts into the congregation of Israel and not look as to whether it is a good thing or not. But that doesn’t stop anyone form speculating about it. So I will offer my 2 cents.

Yes it is a good thing. It is in fact a great thing when a popular figure converts to Orthodox Judaism. That is a Kiddush HaShem. Ivanka Trump who had every material thing in the world chose to embrace the yoke of Torah. In the process she just about single-handedly brought Tznius back into vogue.

She has also made it acceptable for an individual from high society to convert. No more snootiness from the upper crust about ‘those people’. As the article I read points out, back in the twenties it was about as taboo as it could be for a Jew to enter that world. That was demonstrated when the heiress to the Comstock Lode mining fortune married a Jew named Irving Berlin. She was disinherited.

Today the opposite happened. A non Jew from that society converted to Judaism. It hardly makes a blip in the radar. This conversion is just another step in our acceptance as full fledged members of American society. While there are still pockets of anti Semitism here -they are becoming increasingly rare. And the once snooty upper crust – well they are still snooty but being Jewish does not apparently mean that much anymore - one way or the other.

What a country.

Kavod HaTorah?

There is an editorial in Matzav.com that has really pressed my hot button. It was written by Rabbi Yosef Shubert. And I cannot recall anything recently that was so off base. Here in part is what he said:

I have no choice but to make my voice heard in standing up for kavod haTorah. The Jewish Star is not very Jewish at all.

In an editorial titled “Is this really a smart move?” the newspaper, with dripping sarcasm and sheer disrespect, disgraces the Toldos Avrohom Yitzchok and Toldos Aharon Rebbes, making unfounded generalizations about them and their chassidim.

Now make no mistake. I am not a chossid and I have never been one. I am as Litvish as they come, having grown up in a strictly Litvishe home which takes great pride in its Lithuanian heritage. But background and lineage are irrelevant when one reads words of revulsion about a chassidic leader - in an Orthodox newspaper no less.

Here is my response:

Rabbi Shubert:

You apparently have no elderly relatives in Meah Shearim who had to suffer the health hazards caused by the burning dumpsters during the many riots called for by these two Admorim. Their tepid condemnations of violence such as this were nothing more than a wink and a nod to go ahead with these protests. This - despite the fact that almost every time they are held innocent people get hurt. Or spat upon.

Rabbi Shubert. You also must know how the world of Chasidic Rebbes works. If they really wanted to stop the violence they could do so in a New York minute! Their strong word is iron-clad law to their Chasidim. Any renegade Chasidim who would then try it would suffer severe sanctions by their own people.

Do you really believe we ought to be supporting people whose Chasidim do such harm – not to mention the extreme Chilul HaShem they cause? If they really meant what they said about condemning the violence they would at the very least stop these useless protests. But they believe they are serving the greater good with them. I’m sure they regret the harm caused - but they must feel it’s worth it. They keep calling for more of them all the time (....with the perfunctory warnings about keeping them peaceful - of course).

These Rebbes may be very kind and caring leaders of their own community – even Tzadikim as the Jewish Star indicated. They may have had a very generous attitude toward you during your many visits. But when it comes to their issues –well the best description of how they think can be seen in an interview of Yoilish Kraus (pictured - from VIN) - an unofficial ‘general’ of the Edah HaCharedis (of which I believe these Rebbes are members) in the war against Chilul Shabbos (and other issues) in Jeruslaem. It was published in VIN a few months ago.

If they want money for their charities here, they ought to take Mr. Kraus along for the sake of full disclosure. Let him speak to the public they seek money from so they can see what they really represent.

As for innocent poor people that really need Tzedaka to feed the hungry mouths of their children, I recommend R’ Dovid Cohen (not the American Posek) and R' Chaim Goldberg’s Tzedaka organization (featured in a recent edition of Mishpacha Magazine). They give every penny donated to them to the truly needy of Jerusalem. Very often in the form of food packages.

I know some very Charedi Rabbanim - both Chasidim and Litvishe (as you describe yourself) who strongly disagree with your assessment here. I really think your concept of Kavod HaTorah needs some refinement.

Meah Shearim Rebbes: Go Home!

I want to commend Mayer Fertig, editor and publisher of the Jewish Star for the courage to publish a strongly worded editorial about the two visiting Rebbes from Meah Shearim. He basically said much the same thing I said. The only difference is that I have gone further and called for a boycott or protest. It is however obvious from his words that he would be quite happy with that.

I am also happy to see at least two other major blogs are promoting this editorial too. My hope is that all those who love the Jewish people and who have blogs - large and small - or any other means of communticating these sentiments will do the same. Time to spread the word far and wide to as many religious Jews as possible – and send these Rebbes a clear message!

Excerpt:

The Rebbe’s followers — at least a good number of them — are thugs and criminals who created an unprecedented desecration of G-d’s name with their violent street protests in Jerusalem.

In a few short weeks they managed to undo and turn around — v’nahafoch hu — a general perception of observant Jews as peaceful and genteel. In some cases they even altered our own self-perception; more than a few frum Jews this summer reported feeling discomfort at being seen as kin to the Orthodox hooligans in the news.

Yet, this weekend, in a display of shocking naïveté, the Toldos Avrohom Yitzchok Rebbe is to be feted and honored — and funded — at Cong. Shaaray Tefila in Lawrence, even as the Rebbe’s brother, the even more extreme Toldos Aharon Rebbe, is making his own appearances in the New York area.

The Why of OTD

There are many reasons why young religious Jews go ‘Off the Derech’ - OTD.

The reason most often thought to be responsible for that is a very negative emotional experience- often ongoing - with the religious community. This can involve living in a dysfunctional family or being sexually molested by a religious Jew. I think that’s right. Most people who go OTD do so because of bad experiences like these.

But there are other reasons - such as a lack of scholastic abilities. If one does not have an aptitude for studies in a high pressure school environment – one’s ego can quickly be destroyed and then easily fall through the cracks. He can easily find ego massaging elsewhere – outside the religious community. I wonder sometimes if this is the biggest factor in going OTD. If one were to take a poll of young people who are OTD would they find that they were all poor students?

This happened to a young man who is very close to me. He was very bright but learning disabled. And he was never diagnosed. That’s because it happened at a time when the very concept ‘Learning disabled’ didn’t exist. Especially in religious day schools.

This young man whom his parents had such high hopes for - could not learn. It was commonly held in those days that he was just not applying himself. Every one of his teachers thought that. He came home every day with homework that he could not do. His parents thought he could - but that he just didn’t want to. This led to many long years of mental torture for this young boy.

He was forced to sit in front of his homework hour after hour every night until his bedtime. He had tutor after tutor. Nothing worked. His parents became harsher and harsher – accusing their son of being lazy.

Long story short – his friends ostracized him and his teachers abandoned him. By the time he was in high school - public high school - he was OTD and into drugs and wild parties. Eventually he moved to Israel just to get away from all of his problems. But there he went from bad to worse.

Fortunately for him a Charedi Kiruv group found him at his nadir and brought him back. Today he is fully integrated into the Frum community, married, – and has a great job.

This young man was eventually very lucky. I wonder though how many OTDs there are who have had experiences similar to this? Even today when LD problems are often correctly diagnosed and dealt with – how many young people still fall through the cracks?

And what about just plain people who have average intelligence? Yes – Virginia – there are Jews who have only average intelligence. But don’t tell this to any Jewish parent. Most will not accept that their child isn’t at least above average if not outright brilliant.

But the law of averages tells me that there has to be many Jews who are just average. What happens to them in our current high pressure system of high intellectual achievement? In Charedi schools it’s about becoming a great Talmid Chacham. In Modern Orthodox schools it is about becoming a professional. These children - it would seem - are highly vulnerable to becoming OTD.

And then there is normalcy. Most human beings need to just occasionally relax in enjoyable ways that differ from their daily grind. That might involve observing or playing a game of basketball or soccer - a very common and normal way to relax. But in Israel - and to a lesser extent in some Charedi enclaves in America - this does not exist.

In Israel - spectator sports are outright forbidden by all Charedi sectors. Even participating in them is at least frowned upon if not forbidden. And we know that TV movies, radio, newspapers, the Internet - are all off limits to them. Just what are they supposed to do with their free time especially in the long period of time of a summer vacation?

Some people think that setting up more learning programs will help. What better way is there to spend free time – they might think. But they aren’t really thinking. That’s because the whole purpose of vacation time is to relax and rehabilitate in ways that differ from the normal grind. R&R - rest and rehabilitation - some people call it.

Yes, there are some students that will thrive in such an environment. They are natural young scholars who just can’t get enough of it. But I seriously doubt that most young people are like that.

Most of these kids do NOT come from dysfunctional families. Many are in fact quite bright and normally learn very well. It is not too difficult to conclude that there is a growing number of them who go OTD when their communities have made it clear that that a simple and innocent desire to play ball is wrong headed and even Assur.

I’m told by one Israeli mother who is very aware of this problem in Charedi Israel that this is the biggest reason that Israeli boys go OTD.

And finally there is the intellectual component. There are some cases where young people go OTD because of questions of faith. When they see things like the origins of the universe explained in ways that make more sense to them than what they’ve been taught by their Mechanchim. They start asking questions. And when they do not get satisfying answers they start questioning it all. I don’t know the percentages of OTDs that fall into the categories I’ve outlined. Nor do I know if I covered all bases. But I do think that tose I’ve mentioned covers at least most of them. The only question I still have is what are the percentages? Which of these reasons resonates with most those who have gone OTD?

If I’ve in any way identified the problem I also know that I don’t have any good solutions to them. But as the saying goes - knowing that we have a problem is half the solution. There are many great people who are tackling thses issues now and working with OTD kids. Both here and in Israel. But I am also sad to say that according to the experts I’ve spoken to, this community of OTDs is so large that they have become a community of their own – and are now a permanent part of our world.

Hating Others for No Reason

I have had occasion recently to think about Sinas Chinam. Sinas Chinam is usually translated as baseless hatred – or hatred without any reason. Our sages tell us that Sinas Chinam destroyed the second Beis HaMikdash.

That makes Sinas Chianm quite a serious issue. We know that the first Beis HaMikdash was destroyed because of the transgression of adultery one of the three great cardinal sins. Apparently each of thsese transgressions warranted the destruction of our holiest structure. The first exile lasted 70 years. The second time the destruction and accompanying exile has lasted almost 2000 years. One might surmise from that that Sinas Chinam is even worse than adultery,

Sinas Chinam is obviously seen by our sages as a severe transgression. It think it is therefore important to define it properly. Or at least to define what it is not. The following are some of my thoughts.

Sinas Chinam cannot be translated as baseless hatred. There is no such thing hating someone for no reason. There's always a reason. The question is whether the reason is legitimate or not.

That - it seems to me - can only be answered subjectively. One person may think his reasons are valid and while another would see them as baseless.

There is a video (in Yiddish with Hebrew subtitles) of a Rav Tzvi Kahane respectfully asking on behalf of the Yeshiva world the Lubavitcher Rebbe why the Rebbe - and his Chasidim - do not sleep in the Sukkah on Sukkos.

Now there are many of us who do not sleep in a Sukka and there are Heterim – Halachic exceptions - allowing it. But it is preferable to sleep in a Sukka if one can. For Lubavitch however, this is not a matter of finding a Heter. They purposely do not sleep in a Sukkah on Sukkos.

The Rebbe immediately got very upset at the question and apparently at Rav Kahana. He accused people who ask questions like this of Sinas Chinam. In the course of his response he never once mentioned the reasons often given for it. Lubavitchers do not sleep in a Sukkah because of the divine sparks – Nitzozos - emitted by it. Those sparks are so holy that they are painful to a normal human being trying to sleep there. This is what more than one Lubavitcher Chasid has told me.

But the Rebbe did not mention this at all. He kept on saying that it was all about Sinas Chinam – and that it was not only Lubavitch that did not sleep in a Sukka. There were many other Chasidim and great Chasidic Rebbes - over their long history who did not do so either.

The Lubavitcher Rebbe really looked upset. But despite the Rebbe’s apparent anger with the question, Rav Kahane persisted in asking his question as respectfully as he could.

Did this questionreally represent Sinas Chinam? The Lubavitcher Rebbe thought it was. But I'm not convinced. I think this fellow really wanted to know an answer.

The bottom line it would seem is that Sinas Chinam can really only be defined subjectively.

I would personally define it as follows.

It more of an attitude. It is a hatred based on factual information about the subject of that hatred that is blown way out of proportion and also generalized unfairly to a group to the point of irrationality.

Sinas Chinam is therefore not baseless hatred but irrational hatred.

I would go a step further and say what is often seen as Sinas Chinam is really not hatred at all for an individual but for what he does or how he acts. It is having a problem with others for not measuring up to certain basic ideals. But ideals are often subjective. One person’s ideals will sometimes conflict with another’s ideals. The result is may be hatred but is it baseless? I don’t think it is. It is just a function of different perspectives based on different indoctrinations. The hatred that results is a function of that kind of misunderstanding.

Finally - anger at behavior might not be an actual hatred of the individual or group at all. It may just be strong criticism without any real hatred with a goal of correcting it - or at least letting them know that their views and actions - which they feel are acceptable to themselves - are not in fact acceptable to others.

Updated: 11:45 AM CST

Meah Shearim Come to Town

It may be too late. But I have just learned about their presence. And they must be boycotted – if that’s still possible.

The Toldos Ahron Rebbe, Rabbi Dovid Kohn and Rabbi Shmuel Yaakov Kohn, the Toldos Avrohom Yitzchok Rebbe are in America now trying to raise money for their causes. I’m sure that there are many that – when looked at in a vacuum - are quite worthy.

But in my view they should be denied all funding in light of the terrible situation in Israel they are responsible for.

I am of course talking about the riots that occurred in their neighborhood of Meah Shearim this summer (as noted in the photo). I am also talking about the Hashkafa they impart to their Chasidim that causes some of them to beat up Frum women on buses. Or beat up women taking a Shabbos walks in their satellite neighborhoods.

I don’t believe I need to re-hash what happened in Meah Shearim this summer. Theirs is a ‘Hashkafa’ of achieving their own narrow ends by any means necessary. It is a Hashkafa they see as a Kiddush HaShem. But I - and I believe most other responsible Jews including most Charedim – see as a massive Chilul HaShem.

Here is the way a mild mannered very Charedi Rav who is a friend of mine put it to me in a moment of candor:

These two rebbes are pulling an ‘Arafat’ and smiling in homes of Yeshivish and Modern Orthodox homes in Monsey, Lakewood and Lawrence raking in MILLIONS and MILLIONS of dollars for their ‘Madrosses’ back home while yeshiva parents here are choking on tuition payments while yeshivos can't make payroll to struggling Rebbeim.

Those who know this Rav would be surprised at his attitude. But this is an almost verbatim quote. And it has motivated me to post.

These two Rebbes are here to raise money. And the innocuous almost positive sounding public announcements in the media about where they will be do not mention who these people are, what they stand for, and the Chilul HaShem they are responsible for.

All one will hear from the Rebbes themselves is about the great Chesed their organizations do. And how much money they need. Especially now in the current economy.

This is a tremendous opportunity for sincere Jews to make a difference. I believe these Rebbes should be boycotted by any Jew who has even an ounce of Ahavas Yisroel in his bones.

This may sound like an oxymoron. How can boycotting two Chasidic religious leaders be considered Ahavas Yisroel?

The answer is simple. When a man consistently advocates events which end up in violence against innocent people he is not to be supported. When he does so little to condemn those who are violent - which is in essence a wink and a nod to proceed - than he is to be boycotted.

Anyone who believes that these Rebbes couldn’t put an immediate stop to this simply does not understand the power of a Chasidic Rebbe over their Chasdidm. Their only Ahavas Yisroel is for people who tow their line. They have no real Ahavas Yisroel for anyone else. Although that is what they would like American Jews to believe. Certainly they care little about the victims of their protests - even Frum ones in their own neighborhoods. I suppose they think of them as martyrs for their cause!

All they want from the rest of religious Jewry is money. And they ought to be denied!

If I had it in my power I would not only call for a peaceful boycott of them - I would encourage as many Charedi and Chasdic Jews as possible to show up at any venue they appear. Let there be placards of opposition in Hebrew and English. Let there be shouts of anger thrown at them. Let them get a small taste of their own medicine everywhere they go.

But most of all these Rebbes should not profit from this trip at all. Let it cost them money rather than making money.

That said I would caution against blaming the hosts. They are not at fault. They too can be seen as innocent victims. They are not being told who and what these Rebbes are. But those of us who know ought to make it as clear as possible in as loud a voice as we can muster.